I just don’t want to cry anymore
Im fat. And i know it. I want to change it and always think about changing it, but then i notice how big i am, and that makes me sad, so i eat. Its always at night as well, i need food. And i hate it.
The worst kind of anxiety is the kind that comes with waves of depression. So you just lay in darkness, sweating from fear of the future, and sobbing because it feels as if your heart is being ripped to shreds. And it’s in those moments when you realize how few friends you really have.
Anxiety is getting worse as the days go on, suffered a attack last night over basically nothing and once id calmed down I realised it didn’t even make sense what I had the attack over I just couldn’t help it I couldn’t breathe I was sweating I was fidgety I just can’t sit still. Today at work was the same I just have no shut off point. I am either in the best mood possible or the worst mood existing. These mood switches are exhausting and I am absolutely shattered :(
I’ve had the WORST side effects from these. I thought fluoxetine was bad, fuck. My teeth are in agony from clenching my jaw, I sleep at stupid times, I have absolutely no appetite and apparently solid bowel movements aren’t my thing anymore. I don’t feel sad or low, though. I feel kinda happy. But tired. Meh.
I seem to keep clenching my jaw aswell and I’m only on day 1, I’m so sleepy aswell I’ve slept 20 out of the past 24 hours. & I don’t feel sad or low.. just normal I suppose.
So sleepy though